That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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