I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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