guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
