Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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