Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
