he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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