Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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