My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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