Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
