we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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