What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize