I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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