Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
