I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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