I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
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Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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