i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
