What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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