my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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