wake up i wanna do it froggy style
only if we run a train.
done.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
