if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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