Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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