I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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