her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
