do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
