I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
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