It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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