I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize