There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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