It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Pooping to opera.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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