there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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