I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
