Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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