Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
