the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
