I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
