He had one of those small greek statue penises
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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