I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
