It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize