those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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