One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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