that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Found your dick twin last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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