we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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