dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
