What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
