I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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