Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
