awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
