OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize