every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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