I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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