he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
