pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
