High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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