How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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