I can text with my tongue
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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