i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
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She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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