Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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