i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
