Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
