Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he thought i was a dude.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
