bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize