I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
