Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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